From http://bosanchez.ph/fight-the-relationship-drift/:
According to statistics, children from a fatherless home according to David Perdew are:
· 5 times more likely to commit suicide
· 32 times more likely to run away
· 20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders
· 14 times more likely to commit rape (this applies to boys)
· 9 times more likely to drop out of high school
· 10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances
· 9 times more likely to end up in a charitable institution
· 20 times more likely to end up in prison for a long period of time
David Perdew says we either pay now or pay later....
So many of us are fatherless kids. So now let's move forward. Nevermind our parents. Let us become better parents! Good parenthood is the SOLUTION to our nation's development! And good parenthood starts long before you actually become a parent. Let's start now! :-D
i grew up without a father and i am not part of this statistics because i had a very strong-willed mother who is also my father.
ReplyDeletemy sons grew up without a father and they are not part of these statistics. they have been surrounded by father figures, and they got to see their your father all summer long and some christmasses. they had many friends and special friends. they went to a good school. they had their grandparents, even their great grandparents, and their father's siblings, and my friends who nurtured them. my sons know that they are loved. and i take credit for being their father and mother, imperfect but enough to raise them as purposive and values-driven individuals.
it is not the absence of a father or a mother, it is how you are raised and it is also the environment (people, events, things, etc.) where you grow up. likewise, having a set of parents will not guarantee that you will come out well and not be part of this statistics.
bo's generalization is way too much. i feel offended by his unthinking isolation of some statistics (american, i suppose) and make it the rule. please tell him that. it takes a village to raise a child. according to malcolm gladwell, it takes one or a few bad friends to lure that child to badland.
my only point is (as was bo's article), people should move forward by pro-actively preparing for and persevering through marriage and parenthood because i strongly believe that ultimately determines what types of people we have in society and consequentially our development as a nation!
ReplyDeletei think many miss this point, and that people are focusing too much on "finishing school," "getting good grades," "working hard," "saving money for the future," "find a partner, get married, and have kids," etc. and think these alone contribute to our nation's development, while people focus less on "love your wife in little ways everyday," "spend time to talk with your kids regularly," "respect your employees because they have families to build of their own," etc.
also, what that study by david perdew, cited by bo sanchez, means when it says "fatherless kids are 5 times more likely to commit suicide" is that "out of every 6 cases of suicide victims, 5 are fatherless," etc.
it does not say how out of, e.g. 100 million fatherless americans, how many actually commit suicide, etc. maybe just 6? or just 60?
so these "statistics" are just saying that "fatherless" is one common trait of most (not all) suicide cases, rape cases, high school dropouts, etc.
it is not saying that being fatherless automatically leads to these unideal things.
but still in that sense, whether in america or otherwise, i think it is better to be not fatherless. or rather, it is better to not raise would-be fatherless (or even motherless) kids, or to accept that being fatherless or motherless is the norm, which is the point in bo's citing of that study by david perdew.
personally, i think we should not glorify single-parent homes because it is just not how things are meant to be. (with the exception of one parent dying early due to accident.) we should try to avoid it as best as we can.
ReplyDeletebut if that is already the case (which i think is one point being made by the blog), we should just move forward so that our future kids will not be fatherless, or grow up to do unideal things like committing suicide, etc.
apparently that is just what bo sanchez was saying from that link, that couples should persevere during married life and parenthood, because their children need both of them.
he was also trying to encourage single people to focus on preparing for married life and parenthood long before getting married and becoming parents.
he had very good intentions, and he put these good intentions into action, in the form of writing this article. and he walks his talk.
surely as you have pointed out and like many other works by many other writers, what he wrote has one or more flaws. easily you may choose to not listen to or not accept anymore the many other good things he says or to believe in the many other good things he has done because of this one flaw in one of his many writings and good deeds. that is your decision.
what i will do now is point that "flaw" out to bo, which i think is the positive thing to do.
have you read "wild at heart"?
here's another interesting, related bo sanchez article: http://bosanchez.ph/are-you-a-real-man/
reading it and considering your earlier comments on his other article, i see that there are again those seemingly generalizing statements he makes. i think he's just trying to make a point (and a good one), and i think he is only targeting a certain audience for these articles he writes and that "generalizing" tone (but unintended) he uses is what he thinks is needed to get his point across.
i also agree that "it takes one or a few bad friends to lure that child to badland." but who raises their children to associate with "bad" friends? it is the parents. or rather, for whatever becomes of their children, they are their parents' responsibility. and sadly not many take responsibility. some point out their children's inadequacies to being their children's faults.
you also said, "it is not the absence of a father or a mother, it is how you are raised and it is also the environment" - but again, who is responsible for putting their children in the environment they grow up in? who is responsible for how their children are raised? it is the parents, whether they do the actual raising up of their kids or not. and i think personally that two adult heads are better than one. emphasis on "adult."
up to what age does this apply to?
ReplyDeletegood question! i'll probably ask bo that too.
ReplyDelete