Friday, July 23, 2010

[quote them] Norman Vincent Peale

"The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism."
This is the truth that I recently discovered but have long been the basis of my "criticism" of people -- usually people I consider friends or family -- which I do not to push them down, but for them to see that they can still climb a number of steps up to the top.  Some unfortunately have thought that my "criticisms" of them were opposite of "being friends" with them, and so on.  They took them as personal attacks.  I don't know where they are now, but some other old friends who took my criticisms and stayed as my friends, I know they have certainly blossomed in a very beautiful way, for their own sake and for those of the people they love and care about.

2 comments:

  1. If that is the actual situation as Norman Vincent Peale said, then as communicators we have the responsibility to deliver our criticism in a way that will be heard deep within the person and believed. It is not them but us, and if we would not assume also a responsibility to change on our part, to be flexible enough in making our message easier to accept and understand, then may be we need to rethink our ways and try harder.

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    1. Sorry, read this just now. Thanks for the reply. That is so true! And it is something I try to adhere to. But there is no one-size-fits-all solution. In some situations, I use the "tough love" route and accept that they themselves may not be able to accept the truth such that they'd give up being my friend, but they become better persons for it, anyway, then it's fine. Actually, you know, most friends I've told anything to are still my friends. And then there are those who just can't handle the truth (pardon the pun), and well, I can't do anything about it anymore except.. pray for them. By the way, do I know you? Hehe. Thanks again for your reply!

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