1.
God received a letter that went: "Dear God. Please help me quit smoking. Love, Anonymous."
He then replied, "Dear Anonymous. Just quit smoking already. Love, God."
God received another letter: "Dear God. Please help me lose weight. Love, Anonymous."
He then replied, "Dear Anonymous. I already gave you help. I call it choice. Love, God."
2.
Another anonymous wrote a letter that went: "To all my dear religious friends. Please pray for my needs and concerns. Love, Anonymous."
God then wrote him, "Dear Anonymous. You can also pray directly to me. Love, God."
3.
God read a letter that said, "Dear friend. I will not attend church anymore. The priest is just evil! And you and my other friends also stopped attending church. I do good works outside of church, anyways. Love, Anonymous."
God then wrote to Anonymous: "Dear Anonymous. Am I not a strong enough reason for you to keep attending church? I instituted this church. Yes, a very few people who became leaders or members of this church did wrong. But I think it is up to me to judge them. Not you. Love, God."
4.
God read another letter that said, "Dear friends. If there is a God, why does he bring these natural disasters to your very religious country? You pray too much! Love, Your Concerned Fellow Countryman."
God then wrote a letter of his own: "Dear friends. I just wanted to remind you that I gave you all a History Book as a gift. That History Book will tell you that these strong natural phenomena like earthquakes and typhoons and floods are a part of this country, and in this part of the world. It is part of the nature of the Earth. I believe you call it 'natural science.' Forgive the people who try to lure you away from me by telling you that I don't exist. Love, God."
5.
God read a letter that said, "Dear friends. God has punished the evildoers with this monstrous storm! Love, Anonymous."
God wrote to Anonymous and said, "Dear Anonymous. Sorry, but no. I will punish evildoers at the end of time. I am just and forgiving. Love, God."
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