[repeat] [thoughts] How are you, Ronjie?

This is a repeat of an article originally posted on 14 April 2004. I do not necessarily reflect the same views and beliefs today.

I feel like a bird that found itself lost in the middle of the ocean and had to travel for miles on end to reach shore. I am feeling drained, very tired, and not thinking of anything else but getting a lot of rest; feeling shocked, saying to myself, “I went through that?”; and to some extent, feeling relieved that it’s all over, hoping that there would be no important, lengthy trips I have to make soon.

The damage has been done. Recuperation is necessarily next.

For more than 12 months in a row now, I had nothing but work, school, and (some) social life (not to mention a little “romantic” life with a sad ending). Right now, I feel so tired, physically, mentally, and emotionally, my spiritual side has also suffered, and yet it is now I need it most. More than 12 months ago, I did a lot of “fun” things. A lot of sports and workouts, night-outs (“gimmicks”), and all that. I was able to watch movies at theaters more often than, well, now. For the past 12 months, I could still count with my two hands how many movies I saw at a theater. And now, after that 12 months or so, I’ve come to play more “mindless” games: Snake and Opposite (Reversi) on my 3-year old Nokia phone, and Minesweeper on my computer. Now, I sleep early and wake up early. Now, I do not know what is the latest in music and in fashion. I’m now an oldie!

Ah, how the mind, heart, body, & soul are so interconnected. One falls, the others follow. No wonder. That is probably why God created women, to provide that redundancy that men need. Unfortunately, one reason I am in this situation is precisely that, that I thought there was this one person who would provide the heart when I lost heart, the mind when I lose my mind, the strength when my body is weak, and the spirit to help lift my spirit when it is down. I was wrong.